Star Wars: In Concert

So for those of you who like Star Wars, this is for you...

About a month ago I discovered that there was going to be something called "Star Wars: In Concert" at the Honda Center (formerly known as The Pond) and I simply had to check this out for two reasons.

1. My boyfriend is a Star Wars geek and God bless him he's adorable when he geeks out on me.

2. I love John William's music, period.

As it turns out, this was my perfect version of heaven. A full orchestra playing Star Wars music.

I got tickets almost within the first hour they were on sale.

Man, it was beautiful. If there's one thing I love, its music. And this orchestra was amazing. Being in a stadium surrounded by hardcore fans of the movies, and having a pair of great seats was wonderful. There was a enormous HD screen over the orchestra itself and some nice laser, fog and fire effects were wonderful touches, as well at the crystal clear surround sound. 

The event was hosted by Anthony Daniels....C-3PO himself.....

The whole thing opened with the opening score that begins all of the movies, and as the lights suddenly went out in the theater, 20 thousand people gasped, then screamed. That opening score was so beautifully performed, so flawlessly delivered. The next pieces were played just as well and with a passion and dedication only true artists can execute. when the last notes were finally played, the orchestra got a full ten minutes of a standing ovation and a whole stadium of people who were babbling excitedly.

It was a fabulous night, and guess what? if you're a Star Wars fan this was only the second night of its American Tour.  Check ticketmaster for show dates.

it was worth it. plus they had some very nice exhibits as well and some interesting displays, including a lot of storm troopers, some model blaster rifles, a few light sabers and various costumes from the movies. Over all, on a scale of one to ten...it was twenty.

it's worth seeing.  I just can't say enough good things about it....

Go see it. You won't regret it. 

Why Starbucks and Vapid Chicks amuse me.....

So....yeah.....yesterday I was at Starbucks at the Block, getting some water cause it was so flippin' hot late at night even.

anyway.....the line was like twenty five people long and I was in back of all of it....and these two girls come in behind me. I'm not trying to generalize, but I'm going to right now cause there's no other words to describe them except 'valley girls" like 16 years old maybe with enough makeup to cover an entire Broadway show......

twice over....

Anyway...they're talking loudly. I mean really loudly. Enough to drown out the chatter coming from the combined efforts of roughly fourty five to fifty people in that small Starbucks.

here's what I heard....not word for word...but near enough:

Girl1"yeah...so David says he didn't want to hang out with me because he was tired."
Girl2"sure he was tired. You kow you need to ditch the loser and get another guy.'
Girl1"I don't get why he doesn't want to see me. We spent all last week together....and the last few days and he seemed fine then.'
Girl2"if he thinks he can just blow you off..."
Girl1"yeah totally. Like he's gonna find another girl as hot as me who will date him..."
Girl2"Put him in line."
Girl1"Well, his pal Drew likes me. I've seen him checking me out. You know those two are best friends....it'll probably hurt if I sleep with Drew wouldn't it?"
Girl2"Well then maybe David will learn to spend time with you..."
Girl1"Seriously. Fucking loser. I bet I call him right now and he's just lying around the house."
Girl2 Well...I bet Drew's home. Call him up and maybe you can...."

At this point everyone in Starbucks is now looking at tese two, either blantently staring, or shooting them side looks. Now...I'm directly in front of these two girls.....my back turned to them...and slowly but surely my blood pressure is rising. 

Now we enter my mind:

It's Hot!
I'm the last person in line of like a zillion people, half of whom have no idea what they want to drink!!!
in fact I'm pretty sure those morons ordering right now have changed their order like twelve times.
GET OFF YOUR CEL PHONE AND ORDER YOU TWIT! just because you have your thumb up your butt doesn't mean the rest of us do!!! 
All I want is TWO BOTTLES OF WATER....how hard is that?! There needs to be a line for people who just want bottles of water. Simple no effort order. Each bottle is 1.80$ and you just have to pay for it and pick it up out of the cooler...
Jesus Christ what are these two idiots talking about behind me?!?!?!

As you may have gathered, I'm not a patient person when it comes to waiting in line....at least not while it's hot and I'm tired....

Well...that part of the conversation I listen in on and I have to tell you this....girls like these girls really piss me off.....like really really piss me off. Right up there with Animal Abusers and Racist People

I don't know what came over me. I turned around and shouted:

"Oh Shut your Damn Mouth!! The Reason your poor boyfriend who has got to have the patience of a SAINT wants to stay home is probably because HE'S TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING RETARDED ASS MOUTH! It's girls like you who end up on talk shows not knowing which of the NINE guys she slept with is the father of her baby!!! YOU GIVE ALL GIRLS A BAD NAME YOU SPOILED, STUPID BITCH!!!"

I swear to you that's what I said. I'm not joking. 

You could have heard a pin drop. Not joking. Really not joking. Then like a few people clapped and a few people laughed, and a few more people cheered a little. The girl didn't say anything...just looked really really really surprised.

I got to the front of the line and very calmly asked for two bottles of water. The guy got them for me and just GAVE them to me. I held out the $3.60 for him but he just waved it away and told me it was on them. I left and like three people patted me on the back as I left. 

All in all...I'm kinda sorry I did it...but damnit someone had to say something. it was like a Eric Cartman meltdown moment. not joking. I'm still a bit shocked about it.  My buddy Ryan said it was sort of my "slaying a dragon." thing...I'm not sure what he means by that, but woot for me....I think?

(this was a repost and re edit on my part, so if you read it sorry....but the grammar and general flow of the post was bugging me...)

I finally watched Ponyo....

For those of you who aren't really into animated films, Ponyo is a animated movie by Hayao Miyazaki the man who pretty much is Studio Ghibli....think like Japan's own living version of Walt Disney....

Anyway, going into this movie I was told by one of my friends that it's "pretty much Miyazaki's take on The Little Mermaid."  Alrighty then...doesn't sound too hard to understand, right?  Mermaid meets Prince, they fall in love, yada yada yada.....

Not really.

This plot involves some weird, mad scientist guy who lives under water in some magical bubbley type thing who HATES humans, and keeps his fish daughters in a bubble tank in his ship. Yes, his daughters pretty much resemble fish with faces. I'm not making this up, by the way....

One of his daughters wanders away, and makes it to the human populated world and thru a series of random events meets a little boy, who takes her in and names her "Ponyo."  It's important to note at one point, Ponyo gets a taste of his blood....yep, she drinks his blood. 

Not going there with this one....it was odd and made me a tiny bit nervous.....

Anyway, eventually Ponyo's dad comes looking for his daughter, and brings his rather creepy water minions along to help him find her. Ponyo, still a fish type creature manages to get washed back out to sea, and her dad takes her home.  The little boy is very sad and depressed about this, but Ponyo is at this point, one fish in an entire ocean.  not much he can do...

oh, but Ponyo isn't having any of this....

She wants to go back and find him and decides it's time to evolve. Once her dad leaves she breaks out again and goes and gets all hyped up on what is essence magical energy and goes to the surface. What she doesn't realize is that by doing this, basically becoming the Dark Phoenix herself in mermaid mode it's throwing off the balance of the ocean. Ships are being tossed around in huge waves, tidal waves like hundreds of feet high are seen, huge fish start appearing...sorta like a all around "end of the world" scenario by water instead of a zombie take over or a giant rock falling from the sky. 

Ponyo doesn't really realize all of this and simply rides the waves to land to find her boy. His name is Sosuke by the way. There is this really cool sequence of her literally running over the waves. Really cool animation done right there.  She ends up finding him and using magic she turns herself into a little girl. She ends up spending the night with Sosuke and his mom, enjoying being human. She likes human food and is very amused by a lot of the things on land. Then she goes to sleep.

Ponyo's dad shows up, and sees she's turned herself into a human. Worried, he asks Ponyo's mom for help. As it turns out, Ponyo's mom is a sea goddess and very powerful as well as very kind and loving. She asks Ponyo's dad why not let Ponyo be a human? she's happier that way. So they decide to test her and Sosuke and see if it's worth it....

Well...I won't explain the ending....it's worth watching it in theaters...

Now...let me give you some side notes on this movie....

for the first ten minutes I was pretty sure I had dropped acid and was now watching a fish tank. Not kidding. The animation is just...weird as all hell and very colorful. The plot half the time makes me want to scream at the parents in this film being so utterly brain dead. At one point Sosuke's mom leaves her son and some weird, clearly magical girl ALONE in the house while the world is coming to a end to go help some people at the senior center several miles away. THE KIDS ARE ONLY FIVE YEARS OLD!!!!!

I MEAN HOLY SHIT! SERIOUSLY?!?!

ugh. 

But beyond that, it was a enjoyable movie, very cute and entertaining.

I think if you want to watch it you just have to let your mind go as soon as you start watching. If any of you watched Spirited Away, another of Miyazaki's films you started off in a normal area, a car trip and moving day for a young girl and her family. This one you're dropped straight into Ponyo's world and it took me a few minutes to adjust. 

overall, on a scale of one to ten, with one being a: "omg, why was this movie even made?!" to ten being a: "THIS HAD BETTER WIN A OSCAR!" this was about a eight.....

it was really cute, once you realized this was a film purely for children......and it was just going to be weird. You just had to accept the weirdness. I recommend it if you wanna watch something relaxing, somewhat funny and sweet. 

it's about a hour and forty five minutes long too, so no real risk of getting a sore butt from it either. Have fun!

laters. 

The day I will Remember....Always.....

I was only in High School when this happened.

September 11th, 2001.

Doesn't seem like so long ago.

I can even recall exactly what I was wearing....

It was a navy blue shirt, my new pair of stone wash jeans, white and silver Nikes, and my hair was in a ponytail....I was getting ready for school.....

My mom got a call from my neighbor who said that something was happening in New York, and we needed to turn on the news....I flipped on channel 4 and saw the 2nd plane hit not three minutes later. I screamed for my mom, who was outside on the phone.

I don't know how I got to school that day, but all of our classes were cut short. Teachers dismissed us if we asked to leave and our parents were called to come get us. My friend Linny lived nearby and I went to her house after calling my mom to tell her I was safe and with all of my friends. We stayed in her house all day.

we cried and cried and cried.

I'd never felt so afraid and so unsure of what to do.

I prayed for all the people who we saw jump from the WTC before it collapsed. I prayed for all the families I knew would be crying that night. I prayed that the firemen and the police that day would find the strength they needed to keep going.

I'm not sure how I got home. I think my friend's mom took me home where my parents were waiting. We watched the news all night. The next day, I didn't go to school. I felt sick.  I remember curling up on my bed and crying so hard. 

The next day, I went to donate blood with four of my friends. I went to church and prayed. 

but most of all, I remember watching the news, always listening to the radio and praying....and hoping that I would be able to find some outlet for the pain I felt. and it never really came....I wanted to, with all my heart to get in a plane and go to New York. I wanted to help so badly. I felt that the only way I could let the anger and pain out was to dig in that rubble left behind. To move the chunks of debris myself and clear the mess away. I remember around September 19th, 2001 asking my mom if she would send me to New York. She was scared. She didn't want her little girl to go. So I contented myself as best as I could with organizing blood drives and raising money to help the families who survived that day....

It was awful feeling so helpless....sitting on an entirely different coast line. Wishing, wishing with all my heart that I was closer. I wanted to hand those poor firemen a bottle of water with my own hands or tell the men and women working on the site just how much we cared. How much I cared....

Before I knew it the year anniversary arrived.

I know what I was wearing then. A simple red shirt and dark jeans. I watched the memorial service, and cried. I cried until I felt sick. 

Each year after that day people seem to forget more. Or seem to forget just what happened. I read some comments on youtube showing footage of that day and people making snide comments. The most horrible one I've seen was someone simply writing the word "Splat" regarding some footage showing the people jumping from the WTC.

What makes people feel that this day is something to laugh about?  Every single one of those people who died left a family behind. Someone loved each and every one of those people. They were mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, cousins, friends, husbands, wives, children, grandchildren.....they were people.  People who died for no reason, who were going about their every day lives and found themselves in a horrible situation.

I would never want to be faced with that choice. face a burning death or throw myself into the air and fall.  I wonder, when I see this footage, if the firemen and the police that day see that day in their minds. If they see the people they couldn't save from that day behind their eyes or in their dreams....

I pray for the families of the ones who are left behind to deal with knowing there was no way they could have said goodbye....

and I pray for the City of New York itself, to heal. Because pain like that is something that becomes etched in the stones of the buildings and the gravel of the streets. 

I pray we never forget that day. I know that many will argue over the outcome of it all....war, the president the polices we put into place in that time....but let us never, never forget the lives of the innocent people lost that day. of families who lost loved ones and of children whose parents never came home.

Never forget...

IRON MAN: FINALLY, A COMIC BASED MOVIE THAT DOESN'T SUCK!!!

so, I admit, this is a shameless Iron Man fan letter written in a Nyquil induced love fest with all that is comic book based, but oh well. I love this movie.  Here's why.  

Enjoy

I love comic books. 

I love super heroes. 

I love a good action/ comedy movie

and by all that is holy, I love Iron Man.

Why?

cause he's a bad ass.

Tony Stark is basically a playboy genius, multi billionaire with enough money to wipe his butt with hundred dollar bills and not give a rat's ass. 

He also has the amazing Pepper Potts to watch his butt, so that's good too.

Stark is what I'm sure every single man in the world WANTS to be, but can't be.

He's rich, smart, charismatic, savvy, sexy, has a wicked sense of humor and somehow, manages to not take himself seriously. (I bet you could look up a want ad, for a woman seeking a man and find all of those things listed, in that order) And damnit, if he isn't good at just being awesome.

now, back to the movie.

This is one of those movie that makes you believe it's possible to believe that the superhero can actually live in this world. Like, it somehow manages to take the idea seriously. Let's look at the Fantastic Four movies. Yes, yes...I know, it hurts, but bear with me. 

Who for one minute looked at those movies and felt they were in any way at all, real? Not me.

Iron man is different. You can kinda look at Stark and think: "well, hell. I bet if you got someone smart enough, you could have one of those suits  in no time." 

and speaking of suits...holy crap, isn't that the coolest damn suit you've ever seen in your life? 

I WANT ONE!

no, seriously. I want a damn suit.

Now.

I'm serious. 

I've pondering trying to bribe my genius of a boyfriend into making me one. 

of course then if he could make one, he'd probably keep it.....

*GLARE*

Okay, I'm getting off topic. It's the medicine, sorry.

The acting and humor in this film are perfect. They don't overdue the explosions like you'd expect in a Michael Bay film. (Michael Bay is the 3rd largest exporter of explosions, Iran and Iraq being numbers 1 and 2 respectively.) 

It's just wonderfully done. I can't explain perfectly in words what makes this movie great. And if you haven't watched it (WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING, A FUCKING CAVE? ATLANTIS? UWE BOLL'S TALENT SUPPLY BOX?- HA! fucking horrible director....) then go watch it now!

This movie kicks off pretty damn fast and in a rather unexpected way, and it doesn't slow down. I love movies that can keep a good pace going. I enjoyed watching the trails and errors of building the suit itself. And the fight scenes were wonderfully rendered. 

There's nothing I can say about this movie that's a negative, expect the fact that it ends! damn! I wanted to keep it going for another few hours. i was ready for Iron Man 2 before I even left the theater for the first one. All I wanted was a small potty break and I was good to go for another five or six hours!

on a related note...why are the drink sizes at movie theaters getting bigger? no, really.

You look at the cup sizes at AMC lately?

Small = Milk Jug

Medium = about one and a half kiddie pools of liquid.

Large = full size Olympic Swimming pool, complete with your own lifeguard.

Extra Large = JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST, YOU CAN FIT A POD OF KILLER WHALES IN THIS CUP!

and the assholes have the audacity to suggest "Free Refills" for any large drink purchased. 

I think my bladder was screaming and cursing me all at once when I had ingested enough cherry coke to drown a city block.  

Now, this was a movie I saw with a few of my friends and boyfriend and I was a retard and ordered myself a Olympic Swimming Pool of Cherry Coke. I hauled it into the theater....and to prove how awesome this movie is...I tell you this....

I finished the drink half way into the movie and refused to leave until the credits were rolling.

My eyes had turned yellow from the sheer amount of pee being held into of me and I wouldn't not leave until I was sure the movie was over. Life, 100% positive.

Maybe this just says I'm stubborn....or stupid...not sure...

either way....as I sat at home, stuffing my nose with kleenex and taking cold medicine, I remembered how cool this movie was and decided to write a nice little review. It could be better....but I have snot dripping from my left nostril. 

and with that image, I leave you.

go watch Iron Man.

Later!

I'm sick! GROSS!!

alrighty, so.....it was SUPPOSED to be a nice 3 day weekend for me...I had such wonderful plans....relax, hang out with some friends, go to the movies, basically enjoy some R & R that I never get during my busy ass week...

Nope.

My plans got ruined.

By some asshat evil cold germs....

I hate working for the public sometimes....

well, no that's not fair. 

I hate when the public brings their disease ridden, coughing, vomiting, sneezing, snot nosed little kids into my Park and expose me to their filth and plague. 

Leave the poor sick kids at home! 

My entire vacation got ruined because some kid sneezed and coughed in my face two days ago.

Yup. Totally pissed off.

I've drank enough orange juice, eaten enough soup and green tea to effectively cure one city block of Japan of SARS.

so that's like...what?  14,093 people, right?

What? Too soon?

too bad. I'm annoyed.

I've spent an entire three days in bed, coughing, hacking and stuffing tissue tampon rolls up my nose to prevent the dripping nose...

OMG! THE DRIPPY GROSS NOSE!!!

It won't STOP!  

WHY?!?! Why does it have to keep leaking snot everywhere?!

ugh.

The only plus side?

I'm calling in sick tomorrow and I'm catching up on my movie watching........

Yay for Dark Knight and Ironman!

Nothing says movie night like superhero night!

Woot!

Alrighty, I'm gonna go cough up a lung or my spleen...not sure which one yet.

Anyone got any good cold remedies? I'm all ears. 

*cough*

R.I.P my dear Jeans....

today marks a sad day in history for me...

today is the day my favorite pair of jeans has gone to join it's brethren in that big Denim Heaven in the Sky.

My dark washed, Boot Cut, low waist, size 4 jeans have finally worn out beyond repair. 

Oh they were GREAT jeans. Soft, and kinda worn out looking from the constant wear. you know that pair of jeans you have that just fell so good putting them on? They fit like a glove and  make you look damn hot in them? yeah. These were those jeans. My worn out, soft as silk, sexy jeans that I've had for nearly 3 years.....oh yeah, I loved these jeans. 

But today, most sadly, they've worn out and received a rip too big to repair. 

*sniffles*

I shall miss you, my trusty jeans of making me feel super sexy. 

I almost cried when I got off my bike after riding to the beach and snagged one of the pockets on a nail at the pier and ripped them.  

Call me attached to my clothing but it really did make me sad. 

I swear I'm going to have a Viking funeral for these jeans. 

You think I'm joking?  

I just finished a phone call with two of my best friends, they're buying firewood and lighter fluid and we're gonna burn them in honor of the 3 years of loyal service they've given me.

Not kidding.

Anyone know any appropriate funeral songs to sing around the funeral pyre?

HOW TO NOT PISS OFF YOUR AVERAGE GUEST SERVICE EMPLOYEE.

So, I work in a place that pretty much operates to make people happy. If you read enough of my posts, I'm pretty sure you'll be able to figure out where I work.

Anyhow, I enjoy a position of minor power over a modest amount of employees and they take orders from me. But I admit, even if I am getting paid more, I loved doing the hands on, interactive part of my job, as opposed to what I do now, which is file paper work, schedule breaks and lunches, stick to our budget and generally make sure everything is running smoothly.

It's not as fun.

Yes, I loved doing the grunt work, believe it or not. 

anyhow....let me start by saying the following post was made about three years ago, but my dear friends Jules, Darian and Cade thought this would be a funny blog for me to put up. 

I got a bit bored, so I put together the "Helpful Ways to make it thru a Theme Park without the Employees murdering you and your loved ones." in a sort of order...enjoy....

ABOUT TIME!!!



1.Don't arrive for any show at the marked show time. Show up earlier...by at least 20 minutes.

2.If a ride line is posted over 30 minutes, guess what? Whining about it won't make the line move faster. We've done studies. It doesn't work.

3.If you are insane enough to come on Christmas Eve, or Thanksgiving weekend, or any other Holiday...guess what? The lines are gonna be long! you wanna know why? BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IN CHRISTENDOM HAS DECIDED TO COME AS WELL!!!!

4.Don't use this excuse when you come running up to the last time for any show "but we've wanted to do this all day, this is what we've been waiting for all day. Can't you please let us in?" Because if it was something you wanted to do so badly you should have come to an earlier show....planned better...and no...we cant' let you in because we've had to turn down the other 45 people behind you who asked the same thing.

5.Don't ever expect shows to be slow. They never are. Shows will run on time come hell or high water. even then, we've probably convinced Satan to hold off on the end of the world....and as for the water...we'll get a mop....the show will still run on time!!!

SAFETY FIRST!! SAFETY IS ALWAYS FIRST!!!


1.If you're walking along a parade route and see tape or ropes up...DON'T CROSS THOSE LINES. They're there for a reason.

2.Don't swing on our ropes....it really pisses us off. not to mention they might break and you'll be meeting the ground very soon. and trust us...we'll laugh, cause chances are, we've already warned you. oh, and no...w'ere not calling first aid for your broken finger and dislocated kneecap. 

3.If you see a rope, chain, metal divider, tape, or any other borders....DON'T JUMP OVER, UNDER, WALK THRU IT!!! IT'S THERE FOR A REASON!! (if you die doing something stupid, we have a ton of paper work to do, and while we don't care that you died, we do hate paper work)

4.If there is a height limit on our ride no amount of complaining or threats will change that. It's the law, we can't do anything about it. So please stop trying to take your two month olds on our roller coasters. 

5.Don't stand up during our rides. you're just going to force us to shut the ride down and then you'll be the one all the other 500 people are looking at, knowing you're making them wait. and no...we won't help you if a mob comes after you. in fact, we'll be handing out the pitchforks and torches.....

6.When you're moving in a crowd of people try and go with the flow of traffic. (SERIOUSLY, IT NOT A HARD THING TO DO!!!!)

7.if your child is a half inch under the height requirment, it's STILL UNDER THE HEIGHT REQUIRMENT. IT'S NOT A RULE WE CAN BEND, IT'S FOR THEIR SAFETY. AS A RESPONSIBLE ADULT YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS.

8.Would you jump off the cross walk into moving traffic outside of the park? No? Well the same rule applies here. Don't do it. our floats are considered moving vehicles in every sense of the word. DON'T JUMP IN FRONT OF THEM!

9.Read all the boarding rules for any ride. it will only take an extra moment or two. and it'll save you a hell of a lot of trouble. 

10. if we say no lap sitting, we mean no lap sitting. end of story. 

BEING A DECENT HUMAN BEING!!!


1.Try to listen to what we are saying to you. After all...we were trained to do our jobs.

2.Remember that we are humans as well. We DON'T LIKE BEING YELLED AT, cursed at, threatened, called names, insulted, abused or treated like slaves. We are here to HELP you, not to be USED by you.

3.Don't flip off cameras that are taking your picture on the rides. We will catch it and delete it. Plus you're ruining the memories of people who aren't being morons.

4.Acting like an ass to look "tough" or "cool" only makes you look like an ass and nothing else. 

5.it's not considered "cool' to break the rules. you're just being stupid.  (again, we don't call first aid for retards. We call custodial to pick up bodies.)

6.USE THE TRASH CANS!!!!

7.We don't make up the prices for food and mechandise. Complaining to us about it won't lower the prices. 

8. if a ride has broken down remember this......NO, we didn't do it on purpose, YES we are trying to fix it as soon as possible, NO we can't make things go any faster, YES we want you to be as safe as possible, NO you're not helping matters by complaining....in fact chances are you're causing more of us to have to come out to deal with your stupidity, and less of them are working on the problem...thus making the wait for us to resume operations EVEN LONGER!!!!!!!!! 


WATCHING YOUR OWN CHILDREN!!!!


1.WATCH YOUR CHILDREN!!! we are NOT babysitters! It doesn't matter if it's a indoor show....other people are watching it too. EITHER CORRAL YOUR KIDS OR LEAVE.

2.our theaters are not nurseries! please watch your children!!!!!

3.No...it is NOT okay to change your child's diaper in the middle of our line/ theater/ courtyard/ walkway/ ride itself/ public bench/ resturant/ boat/ train/ plane/ gondola/ vehicle/ raft/ flowerbed/ garden/ terrace/ river/ lake/ stream areas......EVER. THIS IS WHAT RESTROOMS ARE FOR!! THERE ARE RESTROOMS EVERYWHERE AND ALL OF THEM ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE AREAS TO CHANGE YOUR CHILD. DO NOT DO SO ANYWHERE ELSE BUT A RESTROOM! THAT IS THE BOTTOM LINE AND IT WILL NEVER EVER CHANGE!!!

COMMON SENSE THAT ISN'T SO COMMON ANYMORE!!


1.Don't be a idiot and wear high heels to our parks. it's a theme park and none of us give a rat's ass what you look like. Plus by the end of the night you're going to be really sore. And we don't have trams all over the park

2.If it doesn't come from a bottle, cup, or glass...DON'T DRINK THE WATER!! Ducks and various other water fowl have used it as a toilet. (seriously, it's not good for you...at all...but hey, if you wanna win a Darwin Award, be my guest)

3.If you're in an indoor show, do yourself a favor and don't use flash photography. It's pretty much standard for the whole park.

4.Our theaters don't have restrooms. NONE OF THEM DO!! use one before you go to a show.

5.If you have a voucher, fast pass or any other sort of ticket....READ IT!!! ALL OF IT...EVEN THE FINE PRINT....READ ALL OF IT. TWICE. UNTIL YOU'VE READ ALL OF IT AND CAN QUOTE IT WORD FOR WORD.

6.Get a map of the parks. It helps us, when you ask us where things are at. We understand not all of you have been here, but the map helps.

7.get a show guide. It's very useful

8.Read the fine print on your vouchers. I WILL REPEAT...READ THE FINE PRINT ON YOUR VOUCHERS!!!! READ IT!!!

9.DO NOT SPLIT UP YOUR GROUP!! It makes us have to send our search parties. And don't separate them going into shows and expect them to be able to join you in the middle of the show. it doesn't work that way. Would you go on a roller coaster, expect the ride to stop halfway thru so the rest of your party could join you? The same applies to our theaters. KEEP YOUR ENTIRE PARTY TOGETHER!!!!

10.DON'T STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET TO LOOK AT YOUR MAP. people are trying to walk. move to the side!

11.RENT A LOCKER!!! it's like less then 10 dollars for the ENTIRE DAY!! you have less of a chance of loosing something if you do this...and trust us, in a group of over three, you're gonna wanna do this!!

12. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR VACATION MONEY, CAMERA, VIDEO CAMERA, WALLET, PURSE OR ANYTHING OF VALUE IN YOUR STROLLER THEN WALK AWAY. NOT EVERYONE RUNS ON THE HONOR SYSTEM AND YOU'RE IN A PUBLIC PLACE. AND NO, WE DO NOT WATCH YOUR STROLLERS. SO NEVER ASSUME THAT WE DO, EVER.

13. READ YOUR VOUCHERS!!! EVEN THE FINE PRINT. READ YOUR VOUCHERS!!! AND THE FINE PRINT!!!

We ask you to read the fine print because not all the offers are the same. So when it says "prefered seating" this does NOT mean Priority seating. not by a long shot. it means if you show up at the correct time, we'll try to help you out. it does NOT mean we'll kiss your ass and call it ice cream. So suck it up and read your damn voucher. 
HOW TO MAKE SURE WE DON'T WANT TO KILL YOU LATER......



1. We honestly do want to help you. Just be patient with us as well,and we'll do our best to help you.

2.We are not here to make your life hell. please have patience

3.Don't try lying to us. we're not idiots.

4.We pride ourselves on being attentive to your needs as guests....but this often time requires one on one time. Be patient.

5.when in doubt...ASK US!!!!!

6.IF A SHOW GETS CANCELED DON'T YELL AT US. WE DON'T DO IT ON PURPOSE. and remember...when it comes to shows chances are we've done EVERYTHING, including sacrificing a one of our own to the almighty Show Lord to get it running again. If the show is canceled we've tried everything already. DON'T YELL AT US. IT WON'T DO YOU ANY GOOD WHATSOEVER EXCEPT MAYBE MAKE US NOT WANT TO HELP YOU.

7.guess what? Most of us like working with people! please don't change that.....

8. We look out for each other. If you're a jerk toone of us.....well...we know all the hiding places backstage...nobody will ever find you. and we'll put you in a dark, cruel place....with no windows...and no doors. a place where light does not shine, where there is no hope of escape.....a place that is dark and cold, where you will count the passage of time not in days or years...but in centuries that drag thru an icy space.....a place where you will forever be haunted by the inhuman voice that will plague your mind......"It's a small world after all....it's a small, small world......"

Well, that's my post. hope you enjoyed it. Just a friendly little reminder from your average guest service employee. Don't be a douchebag when you visit my Park. I'm not kidding about the first aid thing. 

love you all. 

I am a level 80 Night Elf Druid, and I don't care who the hell knows it....except maybe my co-workers...

so the other day, I was at Blizzcon aka "THE COMPUTER GAME NERD EPICENTER OF THE WORLD"....and as I roved from booth to booth, panel to panel with my nerdy ass boyfriend in tow, I realized something....there are hidden nerds EVERYWHERE!!!

No, I'm not kidding. 

as I was gleefully waiting in line to play the newest Diablo demo, who should I see coming up the line on the next switchback towards me, but my lead, Michael. Now, let me explain something. In my mind, I've always been able to spot other nerds.  You just can tell. Sometimes its the pale skin, other times it's them laughing and saying something along the lines of "dude, you failed your dex check." or the baseball cap with a huge yellow exclamation point over it that gives it away.

other times you don't find out until you start talking to your other obvious nerd friends about how hard last night's raid was and you swear your damn healer is a fucking Leeroy Jenkins. (At least I have chicken!!!) and then someone pops up with a remark like "Well, shit, all you have to do it send your tanks to the left next time and you're in the clear."

But then there are moments like the one mentioned waiting in line for Diablo (OMG THEY ADDED A MONK CLASS! FUCK YES!!!!) and you see someone with no visible signs of nerdyness on them. Michael is one of those guys you're afraid to mention your gaming obsession to for fear he will laugh and say something like "way mature, guys. playing computer games. Grow up.' or some such. To which most of us gamers call him a douchebag and continue on talking about the merits of tier 4 gear over tier 3 and insulting the Horde with every other sentence. (ALLIANCE, BABY!!!!)

so seeing Michael was a truly weird ass experience for me.  I looked at him.  Blinked and checked his lanyard. Yup. Here's what it reads, with his last name being changed for his protection from Alliance players, he's Horde. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!!!:

"Michael Parker"

"ISmashyMurlocs"

I Smashy Murlocs?

Seriously?

Holy Shit!

Michael has not spotted me yet in line with a gleeful grin on my face, waiting to blow his cover.

"HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT, MICHAEL, YOU'RE A WoW PLAYER?!"

At this point, Michael jumps and stares, looking around a ashamed, and horrified look on his face. Someone has spotted him in his natural habitat, and that someone is someone who was previously unaware of his geekhood status.   He spots me, jumping up and down waving at him like the moron that I am.  

"Hello." He mumbles. 

I smell fear. 

"HEY!  So what are you, Alliance or Horde?"

"I'm a undead warlock. level 80." He answers, almost issuing a challenge.

"You're Horde? You fuckin' wimp." (I get very foul mouthed when it comes to discussing gaming.) "Why the hell didn't you go Alliance?"

"I wanted to be a warlock."

"couldn't have played a gnome, huh? what's your hang up with gnomes? It's cause they're short isn't it?"

"No...I"

"Don't lie jackass! it's cause they're short! You tall sonofa..."

At this point a fight broke out and we had to be pulled apart by some dude wearing a mage costumes, two night elves and some fat tubby bastard named "Joe" in a white, sweat stained shirt.

Just kidding by the way. 

But the point being, we had a very in depth conversation about the merits of Horde and Alliance, and it dawned on me that Michael was a closet nerd. He knew way too much for being a casual player. He was damn near hardcore and I'm only a moderate player. (meaning, I still am aware of the world outside of the computer and have a social life that doesn't involve a headset and a good graphics card)

He joined my boyfriend and myself playing Diablo and then when out 30 minutes of demo time was up we parted ways and he melted in the the crowds of unwashed, sweaty geeks who infest the anaheim convention center for two days, spiking out the level of geekiness to 37 geeks per square foot, 49 if that area happens to be a Denny's.  

Today, I ran into Michael at work. I greeted him with a sparkling smile and a friendly hello. Followed by: 

"Shit! did you get to play the new starting levels for WoW?! Damn it looks awesome.  I can't wait to run my level 80 Druid thru there and pwn your ass!"

"What are you talking about?" was the response I got, and I looked deep in my lead's eyes and saw a plea for mercy. I had him by the short and curlies but he was not ready to be outted as a geek just yet. There were too many witnesses. He had a reputation to uphold. He couldn't be known under the title of "LEVEL 80 UNDEAD WARLOCK!"  just yet. 

but soon.

soon his day will come.

Like when he tells me I'm two minutes late from my lunch.

oh yeah.

Fuck the Horde. 

Alliance Rules!

p.s This won't be my last post about Blizzcon, but its the one I finished quickest. more to come later. 

Blizzcon, Pre End Blog

Well....day one of Blizzcon ended with a huge fucking crash....and today is DAY TWO!!!

oh my Good LORD, what a damn nightmare yesterday...but you know what? It's gonna be okay....right?  RIGHT?!?!?

I forgot my camera, I had my bag searched twice by two different idiots, my boyfriends lost his pass (there's going to be an entire blog dedicated to THAT fucking problem)..the food sucked.....duh.....and I'm damn well exhausted...

But...I'm off to do it again.  Whoo hoo...

BLIZZCON, HERE I COME!!!!

so, it's Blizzcon week...

a huge gathering of nerds and geeks are about to converge in Anaheim, California....AND I'M GONNA BE THERE!!! YAY!!!

Hell yes I'm excited. Phillip and I are going to go hang out among all the other World of Warcraft players in the world and we get to be there. I'm over here geeking out like a idiot....I think it's cause I didn't get tickets to ComicCon this year and I'm suffering from lack of a nerd outlet....

I'm not writing my best post here, but I'm trying to go thru a checklist of what I currently need to bring with me.....Here's what I'm doing....

Granola bars?

Check.

I refuse to pay $4 for a damn cereal bar at the damn convention center.

Water? Vitamin Water?

check.

yeah....not paying $7 for a BASIC LIFE GIVING FLUID.

Spare Shirt?

check.

I've been to enough of these conventions to know this....someone will bump into you while holding their scalding hot pizza.  And I am not about to buy a t-shirt for 20$ to replace the one that's now covered in grease and cheese.

Brush?

check.

Hair gets in face....enough said.

ipod?

check.

Time between forums. Need to be entertained.

Broken in pair of walking tennis shoes.

check.

Yup...not going to be on my feet from 7am to midnight wearing uncomfortable sneakers.

Book of some kind?

check.

see ipod answer.

have mentally reviewed all geek/ nerd trivia to I can communicate with WoW hardcore geeks on a perso nto person basis without seeming like a total noob.

check

i think I explained it pretty well, there.

am I ready. Hell yes. I'm totally writing up a blog for it once its all said and done.

coming soon, a old repost of last year's blog from Blizzcon.  

My Flooded Inbox full of worthless and pointless e-mails.

so I've got a question.....

why does everyone in the world assume that once you have a email address you have a sexual disorder?

let me explain.

I got a email address...I've never signed up for any online contest, survey, newsletter......ever....and quite suddenly....I find my inbox flooded with spam. 

all of them asking me if I need help in bed. Do I want a larger penis? does my partner not please me? do I need breast enlargement? help getting an orgasam? 

they offer free adult toys if I purchase any piece of naughty clothing in their store. 

and if it's not that....I have been offered places to get any number of surgeries. from tummy tucks, to nose jobs and brow lifts.

What sparked this blog was the fact that I opened my email inbox after three or four days of not checking it and found 47 pieces of junk mail......all of which were sexual in some way shape or form. 47 in about three days....that's pretty damn impressive......in a sick sort of way......

So...again....why does everyone assume that I need a better sex life? should I start sending letters back telling them that "no thank you....I don't need any adult toys and I'd like you to stop sending me advertisments" or does that just encourage them?

maybe at the very least I should in fact explain that I don't have a penis to some of these companies....and that yes I do like my breasts just as they are. 

I just wonder sometimes what exactly is driving this world we live in. but then again all I really had to do was watch TV for the new ads about "natural man enhancement.' or new gels that make you tingle and shit. whatever.

No...I'm not bitter or anything, but honestly. There's reseach going on about how to make sure you can either get it up or get it on in the bedroom. All that money could be going someplace useful....find a cure for AIDS or something. Children are dying from childhood dieases all over the world and yet Joe Someone needs a bigger Mini Me. 

or someone Suzy Doe needs to feel better about her man, and really needs a new gel to feel sexy. (it also comes in strawberry, chocolate and mint flavors, or try the BRAND NEW GLOW IN THE DARK GEL FOR NIGHT TIME FUN!!!!)

Jeez....ugh...okay. sorry. but damnit, people there are vastly more important things going on in the world. 

so here's what I was thinking...I'd write a letter....it'll go something like this....

"Dear Sexually Inept Men of Company X,

Please don't flood my inbox with bullshit anymore. While I know you're all so worried about your own inability to feel sexually powerful and fulfilled, some of us still have morals and values and really don't give a rats ass about your Little Winky. By the way....just for future reference I don't have a penis. and I like my Twins just the way they are, thank you. No, I do not want enhancements or implants because I enjoy walking upright and not having the posture of a jumbo shrimp when I reach the age of 60.) Can you please spend some of your advertising money on a better cause? People are dying all over the place and it's not cause they can't have a good time in the bedroom.

Thanks,
A Lady Who Likes Her Body Just The Way It Is!!!

p.s if you're one of those assholes who drive huge ass cars to compensate for something...please can you at least learn how to park? it's hard enough finding a space at the movie theater friday night without your damn monster truck taking up half of two parking spaces. 

p.s.s By the way....the Huge Truck....yeah. everyone knows your little guy is extra small. just FYI