and as such, I have moments of extreme vanity...
Well, unfortunately for me, today, the lipstick rule was broken...
now, let me explain, my boyfriend sometimes spends the night. not always, but sometimes.....we've been dating for a few years now, and I am still in that stage where as a female, I see fit to keep my man in the illusion that I ALWAYS LOOK PERFECT, DAMNIT AND IT'S GONNA STAY THAT WAY.
Ladies, you have to know what I'm talking about. If you wake up before he does, you go brush your teeth really quick, before you sneak back in the room, or brush your hair really quick before he wakes up, so you NEVER EVER HAVE BAD BREATH, AND YOUR HAIR LOOKS ABSOLUTELY RADIANT. don't deny it, you know you've done it.
Well, I have this thing, I like to tell myself he will never see me without lipstick...because I'm gonna be honest, my lips are pretty pale looking and thanks to modern science the beauty industry has created and mass marketed my new best friend. (sorry Krista)
The tubes of 20 hour lasting, no fade, requires paint thinner and a belt sander to remove this shit lipstick. You put it on and it does not go away until you put some elbow grease into it....
I love this stuff.
I'd sell my right kidney for it...
ok...maybe not my kidney....
but a few pints of blood, yes.
Anyhow..I can put it on and I no longer have to worry about pale lips until the next day. okay, its a personality quirk, kill me.
Well, Phillip spent the night last night and we watched Star Wars until my brain was buzzing with Force related catch phrases. (shut up, to both Rick and Andy.) Sometime during the day in my mad rush out the door and into the rat race that is life, I misplaced my lipstick after I put it on and forgot all about it....I went to sleep with lipstick on, and woke up this morning before Phillip....and slipped into the bathroom to wash my face, brush my teeth and put on lipstick then go back to bed.....it's my day off, and I earned the right to go back to bed and use my boyfriend as a pillow...
I go thru the "magic morning touch up" and then reach for the trusty make up bag...then stare into it in utter horror as I realize my best friend "Razzleberry Bliss" #772 is not in my make up bag! NO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
The Horror!!
I have a silent yet furious panic attack in my bathroom then look around in the drawers...no Best Friend....
There's only one place it can be....
The Bedroom...
Where Phillip is currently sleeping...
The danger is that he will awaken, see me without lipstick and I shall be overly embarassed....
it's stupid, I know...but it can't be helped....
I go into the bedroom.
Soft snoring from the bed tells me I am safe....
THERE! on the bedside table...
"Razzleberry BLiss #772" lies by the bedside lamp...
Asshat lipstick...
I reach for it...
Phillip turns over.
I have a small bowel movement.
Snoring continues.....
SCORE!
Lipstick in hand!
I'm a Goddess!!!
Phillip yawns.
Eyes open!
SHIT! (my pants)
He looks ups at me. I wince. I ponder covering face with bathroom towel.
"You look different." comes the comment.
"it's nothing." I sputter. In my mind however I'm screaming: "TURN AWAY. DO NOT LOOK AT MY HIDEOUS PALE LIPS. NAY, STARE NOT UPON MY UGLY FACE!!!"
He stares a few more seconds then says:
"You look cute without lipstick."
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
I smile, drop the lipstick on the floor and go back to bed.
Now I know why I love this man....
He has a wonderful sense of self preservation.
Teehee.
I love you, Phil.
p.s Thanks sweetie.
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