Tuesday, September 8, 2009


so, I admit, this is a shameless Iron Man fan letter written in a Nyquil induced love fest with all that is comic book based, but oh well. I love this movie.  Here's why.  


I love comic books. 
I love super heroes. 
I love a good action/ comedy movie
and by all that is holy, I love Iron Man.


cause he's a bad ass.

Tony Stark is basically a playboy genius, multi billionaire with enough money to wipe his butt with hundred dollar bills and not give a rat's ass. 

He also has the amazing Pepper Potts to watch his butt, so that's good too.

Stark is what I'm sure every single man in the world WANTS to be, but can't be.

He's rich, smart, charismatic, savvy, sexy, has a wicked sense of humor and somehow, manages to not take himself seriously. (I bet you could look up a want ad, for a woman seeking a man and find all of those things listed, in that order) And damnit, if he isn't good at just being awesome.

now, back to the movie.

This is one of those movie that makes you believe it's possible to believe that the superhero can actually live in this world. Like, it somehow manages to take the idea seriously. Let's look at the Fantastic Four movies. Yes, yes...I know, it hurts, but bear with me. 

Who for one minute looked at those movies and felt they were in any way at all, real? Not me.

Iron man is different. You can kinda look at Stark and think: "well, hell. I bet if you got someone smart enough, you could have one of those suits  in no time." 

and speaking of suits...holy crap, isn't that the coolest damn suit you've ever seen in your life? 


no, seriously. I want a damn suit.


I'm serious. 

I've pondering trying to bribe my genius of a boyfriend into making me one. 

of course then if he could make one, he'd probably keep it.....


Okay, I'm getting off topic. It's the medicine, sorry.

The acting and humor in this film are perfect. They don't overdue the explosions like you'd expect in a Michael Bay film. (Michael Bay is the 3rd largest exporter of explosions, Iran and Iraq being numbers 1 and 2 respectively.) 

It's just wonderfully done. I can't explain perfectly in words what makes this movie great. And if you haven't watched it (WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING, A FUCKING CAVE? ATLANTIS? UWE BOLL'S TALENT SUPPLY BOX?- HA! fucking horrible director....) then go watch it now!

This movie kicks off pretty damn fast and in a rather unexpected way, and it doesn't slow down. I love movies that can keep a good pace going. I enjoyed watching the trails and errors of building the suit itself. And the fight scenes were wonderfully rendered. 

There's nothing I can say about this movie that's a negative, expect the fact that it ends! damn! I wanted to keep it going for another few hours. i was ready for Iron Man 2 before I even left the theater for the first one. All I wanted was a small potty break and I was good to go for another five or six hours!

on a related note...why are the drink sizes at movie theaters getting bigger? no, really.

You look at the cup sizes at AMC lately?

Small = Milk Jug
Medium = about one and a half kiddie pools of liquid.
Large = full size Olympic Swimming pool, complete with your own lifeguard.

and the assholes have the audacity to suggest "Free Refills" for any large drink purchased. 

I think my bladder was screaming and cursing me all at once when I had ingested enough cherry coke to drown a city block.  

Now, this was a movie I saw with a few of my friends and boyfriend and I was a retard and ordered myself a Olympic Swimming Pool of Cherry Coke. I hauled it into the theater....and to prove how awesome this movie is...I tell you this....

I finished the drink half way into the movie and refused to leave until the credits were rolling.

My eyes had turned yellow from the sheer amount of pee being held into of me and I wouldn't not leave until I was sure the movie was over. Life, 100% positive.

Maybe this just says I'm stubborn....or stupid...not sure...

either way....as I sat at home, stuffing my nose with kleenex and taking cold medicine, I remembered how cool this movie was and decided to write a nice little review. It could be better....but I have snot dripping from my left nostril. 

and with that image, I leave you.

go watch Iron Man.


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