Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I am a level 80 Night Elf Druid, and I don't care who the hell knows it....except maybe my co-workers...

so the other day, I was at Blizzcon aka "THE COMPUTER GAME NERD EPICENTER OF THE WORLD"....and as I roved from booth to booth, panel to panel with my nerdy ass boyfriend in tow, I realized something....there are hidden nerds EVERYWHERE!!!

No, I'm not kidding. 

as I was gleefully waiting in line to play the newest Diablo demo, who should I see coming up the line on the next switchback towards me, but my lead, Michael. Now, let me explain something. In my mind, I've always been able to spot other nerds.  You just can tell. Sometimes its the pale skin, other times it's them laughing and saying something along the lines of "dude, you failed your dex check." or the baseball cap with a huge yellow exclamation point over it that gives it away.

other times you don't find out until you start talking to your other obvious nerd friends about how hard last night's raid was and you swear your damn healer is a fucking Leeroy Jenkins. (At least I have chicken!!!) and then someone pops up with a remark like "Well, shit, all you have to do it send your tanks to the left next time and you're in the clear."

But then there are moments like the one mentioned waiting in line for Diablo (OMG THEY ADDED A MONK CLASS! FUCK YES!!!!) and you see someone with no visible signs of nerdyness on them. Michael is one of those guys you're afraid to mention your gaming obsession to for fear he will laugh and say something like "way mature, guys. playing computer games. Grow up.' or some such. To which most of us gamers call him a douchebag and continue on talking about the merits of tier 4 gear over tier 3 and insulting the Horde with every other sentence. (ALLIANCE, BABY!!!!)

so seeing Michael was a truly weird ass experience for me.  I looked at him.  Blinked and checked his lanyard. Yup. Here's what it reads, with his last name being changed for his protection from Alliance players, he's Horde. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!!!:

"Michael Parker"

I Smashy Murlocs?


Holy Shit!

Michael has not spotted me yet in line with a gleeful grin on my face, waiting to blow his cover.


At this point, Michael jumps and stares, looking around a ashamed, and horrified look on his face. Someone has spotted him in his natural habitat, and that someone is someone who was previously unaware of his geekhood status.   He spots me, jumping up and down waving at him like the moron that I am.  

"Hello." He mumbles. 

I smell fear. 

"HEY!  So what are you, Alliance or Horde?"

"I'm a undead warlock. level 80." He answers, almost issuing a challenge.

"You're Horde? You fuckin' wimp." (I get very foul mouthed when it comes to discussing gaming.) "Why the hell didn't you go Alliance?"

"I wanted to be a warlock."

"couldn't have played a gnome, huh? what's your hang up with gnomes? It's cause they're short isn't it?"


"Don't lie jackass! it's cause they're short! You tall sonofa..."

At this point a fight broke out and we had to be pulled apart by some dude wearing a mage costumes, two night elves and some fat tubby bastard named "Joe" in a white, sweat stained shirt.

Just kidding by the way. 

But the point being, we had a very in depth conversation about the merits of Horde and Alliance, and it dawned on me that Michael was a closet nerd. He knew way too much for being a casual player. He was damn near hardcore and I'm only a moderate player. (meaning, I still am aware of the world outside of the computer and have a social life that doesn't involve a headset and a good graphics card)

He joined my boyfriend and myself playing Diablo and then when out 30 minutes of demo time was up we parted ways and he melted in the the crowds of unwashed, sweaty geeks who infest the anaheim convention center for two days, spiking out the level of geekiness to 37 geeks per square foot, 49 if that area happens to be a Denny's.  

Today, I ran into Michael at work. I greeted him with a sparkling smile and a friendly hello. Followed by: 

"Shit! did you get to play the new starting levels for WoW?! Damn it looks awesome.  I can't wait to run my level 80 Druid thru there and pwn your ass!"

"What are you talking about?" was the response I got, and I looked deep in my lead's eyes and saw a plea for mercy. I had him by the short and curlies but he was not ready to be outted as a geek just yet. There were too many witnesses. He had a reputation to uphold. He couldn't be known under the title of "LEVEL 80 UNDEAD WARLOCK!"  just yet. 

but soon.

soon his day will come.

Like when he tells me I'm two minutes late from my lunch.

oh yeah.

Fuck the Horde. 

Alliance Rules!

p.s This won't be my last post about Blizzcon, but its the one I finished quickest. more to come later. 


the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I love a good LeRoy Jenkins reference.

My boss is a gamer, too. He's trying to rope me into Champions Online when it launches in a few days.

Gauche said...

ah...see my boyfriend plays Champions Online. didn't really get into it myself, but it's all good. I'm a hardcore WoW nut.